James' 2010 Quotes
(To Natalie): "Would you rather have somebody kiss you, or have a mustache?"
James: "Are you going to the firework party tonight? There will be food there."
Emily: "I'm not sure."
James: *Gasps* "There will be lots of dessert there! You like dessert!"
"I have to go potty like a crazy man, too!"
(To Kiera): "You're killing me, smalls!"
"You wanna piece of me? Well, do ya, punk?"
"Skunks are stinky, too - just like chinchillas, huh?"
"Can I have the .44 Magnum?"
(After ordering ice cream at a restaurant, to the waitress): "...and can you put a grape on the top?" (He meant a cherry)
"Kiera, it's time to die."
"Silence! I kill you!"
"I was dreaming of you, mama."
James: "Guess what, this isn't our house." Emily: "No? Who's house is it?" James: "It's the bank's."
James (praying): "Please bless the food to make us really, really strong... super strong, actually."
"Take your hand off my tail. You're gonna' make it dirty."
James: "Thanks Chief." Emily: "Chief?" *Laughs* James: I tell that to you all the time, but you never listen."
"I love everybody in the whole world. Except for strangers."
"You're killing me, Smalls!"
"You're such a good maker, dad!"
"The chef is brilliant!"
"I finished my food before ALL of you! I'm just so intense!"
"I'm just going to look cool for a sec without my shirt. Then I'll put my shirt back on."
"Mom, we're going speed as the wind, huh?"
James (Praying): "... and we're thankful for the toys. Thank you for making the toys. For all the things to make the toys, and all the people who make the toys and for Satan to die."
"Can I see Snow White? I mean- can I have a V8?"
"You're fired."
"Thank you for making dinner, mom. I really appropriate it."
"When I wear 5Ts I'm not comfortable. But when I wear 4Ts I absolutely am."
"But these pants just look so good with this shirt."
"I love your hands mama. They're so perfect."
(Singing) "Ma-ma-ma-ma. Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poke your face!"
James' 2009 Quotes (4 years old)
"Mama- I love you so much. I'm gonna' even buy you a woman dress that has buttons."
James: "Not all superheroes can fly." David: "Which ones can't fly?" James: "Winnie the Pooh, and the Hulk..."
James: "I made this for you, mama." Emily: "Why?" James: "Because I love you so much. Because you're my heart, mama."
"If I throw things out of the car window, then the police will give daddy a ticket and then he will spank my bum. And it will bleed. Huh, daddy, huh?"
"Oh my neck is totally hurting because I was playing WOW."
"Mama- this is the funniest thing- I have ever seen."
"I'm shakin' my groove thing!"
"What a goofy baby!"
"It's an emergency!"
"Yeah, I'm so, super funny."
"I have some good news, and some bad news. The good news is you need to pick up the pillow and put it on the couch. The bad news is you're going to need to stop snuggling daddy. That's the bad news."
"Mama, the girl was certainly tough, but the guy still killed her."
"Yummy chicken nuggets... that's wonderful, mama!"
"Good Job, Mom!"
Emily: "What's your middle name?" James: (deep voice) "Danger."
"When I close my eyes, and it's dark outside, DREAMS come in my eyes!"
James: "I'm going to be Dr. House when I grow up." Mom: "What do Doctors do?" James: "They be obedient and pinch people's toes." Joe: "Mama's toes are right there, why don't you pinch them?" James: "I'm not a doctor yet~!"
"Mom, the Holy Ghost wants a fruit snack in my tummy."
*GASP* "The Holy Ghost is trying to get out of my heart!" (Pause for effect) "Just kidding!"
"UGH, Daddy, I'm so appointed." (He meant disappointed)
"See Daddy, I can learn to not fall off the ladder!!"
Emily: "Do you want to be a rock star when you grow up?" James: "No, I want to be a doctor ... so I can poke people."
Timmy: "Say hello to my little friend." James: "Hi!"
"Say hello to my little friend, or I will tie you up!"
"F! F is for Fish! And K! K is for Perigon to walk on water!" (K is the button you need to push in a computer game that he plays)
Emily: "what are you going to be when you grow up?" James: "Dr. House."
"So what? I'm still a rock star!"
(To the UPS man): "What's your name?" (UPS guy): "Kieth." James: "Are you my uncle?" Kieth: "No..." James: "Are you some body's uncle?"
(after looking at Lex Luthor in Superman): "Hey, mama, that guy looks like Micah's Daddy." (he's bald)
"I like this candy because it is delectable."
"To infinity... no." (continues in deeper voice): "TO INFINITY... AND BEYOND!"
"This is delectable! Can life get any better?? I submit it can be not!"
Emily: "We'll make a hot dog, but you need to eat the bun." James: "I don't want to eat the bun... the bun is weak sauce."
James' 2008 Quotes (3 years old)
David: "I have germs in my tummy." James: "You need to get some mad skills so you can get the germs out of your tummy."
"I am Captain Sir!"
"I'm not a nut. I'm just a child."
James: "I had a dream that I broke this." Emily: "Oh. Was mommy angry in your dream?" James: "Yeah." Emily: "Did I spank you?" James: "No, you just yelled at me and told me to go to my room."
"I like it when Uncle Joe spanks me."
"Thank you so much, mommy!"
"You're a good job."
"Christmas!!" (he yells this every time we pass a house with Christmas lights.)
"That's Tigger the Pooh!"
"My tenders!"
"I don't have any money!"
"This is a fun day!"
"California is so fresh."
"Yikes!"
"Oh snap!"
"I am handsome... Mama gave me a hair cut this year!"
"I am happy. But I'm not tired."
"Let me make you comfortable!"
"I don't want to be the man of the house anymore. I'm just the kid of the house."
"Mommy, I love you. Always."
"Mmm, now I have candy air!" (he had just finished a peppermint, and was breathing.)
"I'm a good artist."
"We love ourselves!" (He meant, "each other")
"Let me think..." (he then puts his head down and presses his pointer finger and thumb on his forehead, furrows his brow, and pauses.) "Okay, I'm done."
"I'm funny, huh?"
"That's interesting."
"Boom, Baby."
"Peace Out."
"That tougher is totally cool."
"Did you use your debit card?"
*Gasp* "Mama, your eye's are so pretty! There are lots of dots on there!" (I was wearing glittery eyeshadow)
"Don't eat so fast. You need to enjoy it."
"Eat, Kiera. Concentrate!"
"This is my son, Mama. This is my friend, Daddy." (introducing us to our cousin)
"I don't want BOB! I want lamby!" (we couldn't find the lamb, so David took a cloth diaper and shoelace and made a little man, then told James "This is Bob, he's lamby's brother."
"Your hair is so pretty, mama." (I had just showered, it was wet.)
"I won't go to work, I'll take care of you... Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you, sweetheart." (Talking to me, while I was sick, when David said he had to go to work.)
"I'm not James. I'm spiderman."
"I need to go to bed, Daddy."
David: "Where did he go?" James: "I don't know. I think, he went to a better place."
"You're tough, Daddy."
"Don't hit me. I'm a nice kid! So don't hit me!"
"I'm being so brave, guys."
"I'm having a fun day!"
"I can't hold your hand, I'm a super hero."
"I'm not James, I'm just Spiderman."
"What your name is?"
"Don't feed the bears."
"I have phlem in my froat."
"Daddy, you need to take your whiskers off, they're pokie"
"I need to stay with my people. These are my people." (pointing to mommy and daddy)
"Oh my crap! You beat me!"
"Prepare to die!" (after brandishing a sword)
"I love this!" (said while Joe was spinning him around)
"I have green boogers. Mommy has green boogers. We all have green boogers!"
"I will pwn him."
"You're sweaty uncle Joe. You're sweating like a pig."
"Please bless the chips" (Praying)
"Jesus makes you fold your arms."
"I'm going to be going to priesthood school and I'll never see you again." (He meant preschool)
"You killed me." (angrily, after being clotheslined by Joe while wrestling)
"Uncle Joe, I'm so happy to see you." (we all live in the same house)
(talking about a mosquito bite) "It itches me like crazy!"
"Daddy's going to bite us!"
"I like having a downstairs, so now I can be a neighbor!"
David: "Should we take all your clothes to the new house?" James: "No, because then I will be all nakey and people will laugh."
"Daddy, your whiskers are so pretty."
(to Grandpa Joe, while holding a little butterfly shaped eraser): James: "Can the butterfly fly in your mouth?" G-pa Joe: "No, we don't put erasers in people's mouths." James: "Oh. Does it have bacteria?"
"That's not funny, that's in style!"
"I love sucky juice!"
"I'm Mr. Own-ly, I have nobody, for my OWN!"
David: "Good Morning, beautiful." James: "Mama's 'beautiful,' James is 'sweetie', and baby Kiera's 'Princess', huh daddy?"
(to David): "When you're done pooping, you call me, and I'll wipe your bum." (a couple minutes later, David walks out of the bathroom) James: "You need me to wipe your bum?" David: "No, I've got things under control."
"My food is old and yucky"
"We're a family!"
"I just shoot mama, and daddy, too. You're dead, guys."
"I want more popcorn, and I want more peas." (He meant corn)
"Mama, you're a pretty lady."
"What in the HECK!"
Dad: "Are you speaking English?" James: "No. I'm speaking Angelish." (Angel-ish)
"Inconceivable!"
"Hey mommy, you have to wash your hands. Bacteria's EVERYWHERE!"
"You need to wipe my bum, because I am starting to raw."
"I'm just happy."
"But it's okay"
"I just love her all to crazy" (talking about Kiera)
"Good bye Crocodile!"
"I wasn't angry, I was just Frust-u-ated." (Frustrated)
"Don't worry, I won't hurt you"
"Daddy, don't take my tortellini. I will banish you."
"I have a headache in my pants."
Soak in the moments of our lives
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